with your own penis?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize