Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
