there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
