Your face is a jimmy john
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
