found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Houston, we have a blender
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
