I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
