it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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