Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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