I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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