I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
