I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
