hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Can you bring me the toilet please
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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