my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
