also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
