She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
