I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
