every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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