Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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