Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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