I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
