am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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