the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
