I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
