butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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