i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
