It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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