so explain again why im purple
no
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
