Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
