remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
