talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
