people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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