I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize