and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
