I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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