Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
