Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
