Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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