ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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