Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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