i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
