Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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