They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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