If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
...so i touched it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
