dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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