Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
