fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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