Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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