Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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