Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I still have a little drunk in my system
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
