We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
