dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
