Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize