How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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