I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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