ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
