a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
