At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
