I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
