I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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